I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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