I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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