New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
