I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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