how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
