I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
