nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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