Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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