Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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