I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
