It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
