we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
