Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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