i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize