OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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