she smelled like a LAN party
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
