boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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