He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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