He is an equal opportunity slut.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
