I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize