if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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