So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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