You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
