Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
