who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
