Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
