Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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