Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
