Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
