The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
