I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize