take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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