I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize