absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
