with your own penis?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
