He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize