guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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