Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
