she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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