I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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