Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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