Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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