so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize