yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
