if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
