So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
