I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
