I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
