i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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