i permit you to call me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
