I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
