There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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