We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
