What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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