Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
