I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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