i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
