Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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