if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
