My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
