she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
