so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
