I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
