i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
