That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
