Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
