just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
