He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize