I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
