I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
