so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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