I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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