It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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