I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
